Cat Boats

Any pet owner knows that dogs and cats, while both charming in their way, are very different. Dogs are great if you need a little boost to get through the day. Cats are great at keeping you humble.

Take my pal, the late Rusty Cat. At one point, he decided he liked crawling into our piano to nap. I was not keen on this.

Me: RUSTY!

Rusty: Who are you?

Me: I TOLD YOU TO KEEP OUT OF THE PIANO!!!

Rusty: I don't care.

I raised the lid and lifted him off of the strings. To reinforce my point, I slapped his bottom and set him on the floor. "That'll make an impression," I said to myself.

Rusty made a beeline for the mantle and casually kicked a vase to the ground with one back paw as he strolled by.

Fast forward to last Tuesday.

I've just returned from a couple of months in Scottsdale. Etudé has been left on her own, prey to birds crapping on her decks, otters enjoying crab and shellfish dinners on her swim step, and green plant growth spreading across everything.

I hauled on the stern line to pull her hard against the dock and stepped aboard. Failing to duck sufficiently, I cracked my head against the sharp lower edge of the upper deck. Hard.

Did you ever see Sissy Spacek in the movie Carrie? If so, you'll appreciate how I must have looked with blood streaming down my face and running down the back of my head.

Heads bleed a lot.

So, what to do? I grabbed a couple of paper towels and held them against the wound. I had to repeat this several times because the towels quickly became soaked. Then I noticed the decking was awash with red fluid recently found in my head. What to do?

Possibly not thinking terribly clearly, I grabbed the hose and a brush and scrubbed down the deck. With one hand – while still holding towels on my head.

OK, flow contained and deck reasonably gore-free. What now? Well, as long as the hose is out, I've been meaning to fill the fresh water tank...

You can do a surprising variety of boat maintenance tasks with one hand. Should anyone ask.

The moral is: Don't annoy your cat nor leave your boat at the mercy of wildlife. Both will have their revenge.